i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
