So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
how drunk are you?
Several
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
