At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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