please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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