careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
