Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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