my mouth tastes like poor choices
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
