do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
