Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
