this beer tastes like vomit already
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
