My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
