Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
