Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
