So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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