Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
