Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
