In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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