and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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