From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
