Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
