I bet he comes in French.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
