i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
