my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
