fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
