is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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