dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
