I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
ttyl tear gas
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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