what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
