Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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