i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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