Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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