Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
