i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize