saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
