We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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