Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
