People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
you had me at cake vodka
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
