There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
