How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
