Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
