dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
