this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
