I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Randomize
