Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
