never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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