I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
