If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
