so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
