Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
