So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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