dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
