I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
