How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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